If you have not successfully accomplished my 2-week Intermittent Fasting self study and are still doing it, you should not be reading this self study at all. You will fail at it, it will be your fault, and I will mock you.
For the next 13 days, our only goal is to monitor our own behavior — and in some cases the responses of others to that behavior. We are not looking to make changes, we are looking to understand what we’re doing that makes tomorrow worse than today. Over the 2 weeks, we will learn what responsibilities and areas in our lives we are failing to take ownership of.
The man who is a natural leader is that way because of his polarity. While “bipolar” is a term usually used for unstable people, polarity means what the man says and does is designed for failure or success. Males who aren’t risking enough to get to a successful completion or a lesson in failure aren’t well respected because they’re putting off for tomorrow what needs to be addressed now.
Conversations require polarity, not ambiguity
Today you will take your notepad and pen and write “Conversations” on the top in a big font with a thick underline. This page is not just for today, but any time in the next 13 days that you remember you have something to write down.
One of the most important areas of making conversations important is to justify their worthy by having a result. If the result of the conversation is ambiguity, you are wasting time with it. At the end, you want to either give a “yes or no” answer to the person asking you questions, or you want that answer from them.
You are not going to attempt to try to say yes or no more, or get that out of people — instead, you will write down what the question was that wasn’t answered in a polarized fashion.
Why we leave things ambiguous
The person who can complete a conversation with a polarized answer typically is the leader of the conversation or the more powerful party in that particular relationship. Something as simple as “Do you want to get coffee?” needs an answer of yes or no. If the answer is “maybe, but I’m busy” then you know you’ve been left with ambiguity that will waste your time tomorrow. When in doubt, assume the answer is no, but never reward an ambiguous person with more attention until they’ve resolved it.
Other questions like “Did you clean up your room?” or “Do you know what you want for dinner?” also can be answered ambiguously. Sometimes we want to deceive/lie, other times we’re ashamed of the answer, and in the worst of cases we just don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings with the truth. These are all weak elements that a natural leader man has to break his addiction to, because we don’t own anyone’s feelings and we aren’t at fault for them if we’re honest with a polarized answer instead of an ambiguous one.
Why you won’t change your ambiguous response habit
It is very important right now, and for the next 13 days, that you don’t become polarized in responses — it will confuse others, and you will lose the valuable information of who is taking advantage of you and who is a waste of your time. Instead, try to answer as you normally would — and pay attention to your own ambiguity as well as theirs.
I like to actually make 2 columns on my “Conversations” page, one for my ambiguous responses, one for others.
We are paying attention to how we converse because it’s a huge impediment to owning our responsibilities to ourselves — we slack because we want to deceive, we want to reduce feelings of guilt, or we’re just lazy. After this self study, we will tackle how to properly use polarized responses to become a trustworthy and respected leader, but for now just pay attention.